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Hello everyone! Dr. Rix here. It’s been a while since I chatted with you on youtube. Perhaps you’re seeing some changes in my appearance. Indeed, this past August I shaved my whole head for Burning Man, and although I’ve done that before, this time, as it has taken it’s time to grow back in, it’s really emphasized my aging process and its changes. For the most part, I embrace it. I’ve got a great life and I love everyday of it.

However, I was visiting San Francisco a couple of weeks ago and it was interesting to see people who haven’t sen me in years, and some of them didn’t recognize me at first. Wow! I guess I have changed some over the past decade – I’m little fuller, a little grayer, a little rounder around the edges, 

But especially with the haircut, there have been a few closer friends that when they saw me, there was that split second pause. Maybe they were looking at my hair rather than in my eyes. I gotta tell ya, that second seems like an eternity. It’s like a million thoughts can go into just that second—“Do they like my hair, do they accept me, will they, won’t they?” 

But as soon as it comes, it goes and my friends look me in the eye, and I can feel their love and acceptance and closeness like always.  And yet— and this is why I make this video—my brain wants to dwell and get stuck in that split second. It wants to obsess about it. “Do they like my hair? Do they think I’m too old, Am I still acceptable, Am I worthy of their love, on and one and on.” I want to stay right there in the tiny, constricting space of time and totally judge myself into the ground. 

Yes, even a 56 year old sexologist can be duped by our capitalistic society that we are never good enough unless we buy their product, or wear their clothes or drive their car, and it eats away at our sense of belong and well being. I’m not going to get stuck there in that space and time. I’m going to STAY IN THE NOW where my friends and loved ones accept me regardless of the changes in my life. It’s so sweet, and yummy and wonderful and accepting, and my loved ones exemplify that for me all the time.

Furthermore, I’m not going to be duped by just one of the millions of thoughts that are going to be running through my brain at any moment in time. Here’s a thought, I am not at the mercy of my brian, my brain is a tool for me to use to make my life grand. In fact, I know that my sense of worth and well being is far stronger than any random thought I’m going to have in a split second.

And you know what? Your sense of worthiness is stronger than any split second thought as well. Believe it!

Thanks for listening!


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