Connecting with the Erotic Masculine
An afternoon workshop with Sexologist Jallen Rix
Does it sometime feel like “masculinity” is a bad word?
These days, the public has had an eye-full of masculinity gone wrong! It’s hard to feel good about the gender of the “great oppressor.” Furthermore, it feels as though it has little to do with what we want from the intimacy of our daily lives, much less our sexuality. Even though there are lots of versions of manhood that have been negatively and horribly distorted, there are, at the same time, amazing, sexy, important, and positively spiritual aspects that deserve attention, especially today. Of course, any gender can embody any feature of personhood. All the more reason you get to make your huMANity exactly what you want it to be. Join Sexologist, Jallen Rix for an afternoon of exploring and affirming the masculine sexuality you really want to emulate. This special workshop is designed for all straight/bi/gay male-identified guys.
Here is an opportunity to identify and feel great about the positive aspects of your masculinity in the accepting and nurturing presence of other like-hearted men, without competition, comparison or shame. Most civilizations have rituals for women to be affirmed of their feminine sexuality by other women. Men have the same need. There’s just something absolutely unique about being affirmed of your masculinity BY OTHER MEN, but in our culture these rituals have been upstaged by competition, performance, humiliation, fear of failure, bullying, hazing, and violence, to name a few. It doesn’t sound all that affirming or fun, does it?
In contrast, our afternoon will be spent examining and experiencing what we want, and don’t want in our unique male sexuality and how this translates into our relationships with others. We will explore and enjoy creative, interactive exercises and meaningful rituals that will affirm the specific characteristics around which you choose to build your masculinity.
As the day unfolds, we will up turn the unreasonable and hyper-fear of connecting affectionately with other men. It’s no more a “gay thing” than it is a “straight thing.” If you are primarily straight and you sense that natural yearning to be affectionate with other men but you’re stopped by fear, this workshop will help you out a lot. Perhaps you are primarily a gay man and you too feel the draw of physical acceptance by other men but you’re afraid of rejection or violence, this workshop equally supports you, too. Our fears and intimidations are products of sex-negative, homophobic, and masculine-negative stereotypes that have no place in a loving and accepting society. The rugged and real natural desires of male bonding are simply the honest experiences of feeling close and connected with other men and having the permission and safety to express these desires without shame – brother to brother in humanity.
Together, let’s shed our fears and create the deep nurturing peace that comes from an accepting group of men intent on using our powerful, sexy masculinity to offer positive experiences in our world! There is great healing in store for you! Gift yourself an afternoon to further free yourself and develop greater bonds with your awesome, masculine brothers.
“This was an important workshop for me – defining what ‘masculine’ is…and isn’t (or doesn’t have to be)! Learning how to be a ‘better’ man (open, compassionate, accepting) is something every man should take a look at!” -Richard, Seattle WA
“The workshop provided a comfortable and invigorating environment for me to explore and understand some of my own preconceived notions about myself and my relationships with other men.” -Warren, Coachella Valley CA
“A very enlightening experience. A good way to delve deep into myself to discover where my limitations have been formed and a new way of looking at these limiting beliefs.” -Mike, Palm Desert CA
“The workshop gave me a unique experience to relate emotionally and physically with men from varied backgrounds, ages and sexual orientations. That in turn allowed me to find a new level of peace and understanding with myself.” -David, Palm Springs CA
“I had high expectations for this workshop and gained more insight about myself and my fellow man than I’d thought I would.” -Gabe, NYC
“A very affirming experience. Highly recommended!” – Rich, San Jose CA
“A room full of men of various age, sexual orientation, body type, and ethnicity, exploring personal eros, collective eroticism, and male camaraderie… HEAVEN!” -Jim, San Francisco CA
Q: Who is this workshop for?
A: Besides you, this workshop is designed for any self-identified man who wants to more fully enjoy the masculine aspects of their sexuality. This includes men of any age, shape, ethnicity, sexual skill level, and relationship status.
Q: I’m a guy in touch with both my masculine and feminine sides, is this going to be a feminine-bashing experience?
A: Oh! Hell no! There is no need to oppress the feminine to prop up a sagging male esteem. There is plenty of room in the universe (and in you!) for both masculine and feminine to coexist and play together. In fact, it is a positive and honest attribute of masculinity to embrace, nurture and affirm the feminine wherever one may find it. It’s all good! No fem-bashing here. This workshop is simply focused on ridding ourselves of the shame and negativity that is often attributed to the masculine in our society today.
Q: This sounds kind of gay (no offense intended). Are you sure this isn’t just for gay guys?
A: No doubt, focusing on masculinity can be arousing for gay men because that’s what turns them on. But masculinity is also what turns on straight women too. Why not be the hot man who’s comfortable in his own skin, whomever you attract? Knowing the kind of man you want to be is important whatever your sexual orientation might be. We are all going to get in touch with our own masculinity together and we’ll do it by supporting each other. Since sexuality reflects just how diverse humanity can be, the workshop is purposefully designed so that any man can be affirmed of the kind of masculinity he chooses to embrace.
Q: Do I have to take my clothes off?
A: You don’t have to. Parts of the workshop are clothing OPTIONAL, not required. No one will be asked to do anything beyond their boundaries. This workshop is just like Aretha Franklin — it’s all about: RESPECT. You can count on everyone respecting wherever you draw your lines. At the same time, the safe environment created in this workshop allows participants to stretch themselves if you choose to. Sometimes the only way to conquer fear is to experience what’s on the other side of it. That’s what stretching yourself is about. Ultimately, you will always be in complete control of what you chose to do or not do.
Q: What if this opens up all kinds of issues for me?
A: Dr. Rix has been leading workshops and retreats for over 2 decades. He is skilled and trained to support you in the moment as your experience unfolds. Additionally, he has immediate resources for you to find support beyond the workshop. You can count on him. He is available after a workshop to schedule private appointments individually if you want some face to face time.
Sex educator, author and activist Jallen Rix holds a Doctorate of Education in Sexology from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, where he is a Professor. He maintains a private practice in Palm Springs CA, which includes personal consulting, sacred intimacy work, and surrogate-style partner experiences. He has appeared on talk shows, like Our America with Lisa Ling on Oprah’s OWN Channel, and ABC’s News Magazine 20/20.
He is a leading expert on the damaging effects of ex-gay ministries and so-call “reparative therapy.” His book, Ex-Gay No Way: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse, was nominated as best non-fiction books of 2010 by the Lambda Literary Foundation. His film, Lewd & Lascivious: The 1965 Police Raid on California Hall premiered to sold out crowds at Frameline 2013, San Francisco’s LGBTQ film festival, and won the AASECT Media Award for 2014. His latest project is a solo-performance piece that has so far graced stages in California and Seattle, called, Stake In The Ground: Celebrating the Intersection of Self-pleasuring and Self-compassion.